The Cat Formerly Known as Phil

I was set to write about the cows cavorting around town and Rick Davis’s kind and hilarious letter to the editor advising me to be cow suit free for a while, but life took a couple crazy turnsthis week. While some think my cow suit shenanigans make me crazy, believe me. I’ve reached a different and new level of lunacy.

It started the week before Christmas. After getting home from a full day’s work and a two hour meeting, I finally had on my flannel ninja turtle jammies and was nestled in for a “Modern Family” rerun. My girlfriend texted. A cat was meowing outside her window, and her kids convinced her to let him in.

Since it’s now acceptable to wear pajama pants in public (and she’s six blocks away), I went overwhen my show finished. Her teenage daughter held a black cat soaking up ear scratches. He wasoblivious to the two bouncing brothers, the black lab and the hissing tuxedo cat.

She combated the kids choir of “Can we keep him? Can we keep him!” explaining that he wasn’tfixed, and she didn’t have that kind of money the week before Christmas. He was sweet, soft, and plump which indicated he belonged to someone. Introducing an adult male to another adult male would lead to all sorts of territorial marking and more laundry re-do’s than she could handle with going to school full time and three kids.

The teen kept gleefully going through names. I flip-flopped between supporting my girlfriend’s rationale and offering possible names. With the earlier episode of Modern Family on my mind, I suggested the dad’s name, Phil. The teen squealed and held the cat eye-to-eye.

“Yes! Yes! You can live with us. We shall neuter you and name you Phil!”  

The night ended with my girlfriend saying “maybe, but let me try to find the owners tomorrow.” I went home to my own three dogs, two cats, two turtles and a partridge in a pear tree.

When morning came, the kids’ mom said they really could not take in a new cat. They let Phil outside and hoped he’d return to his home. That was Thursday.

On Saturday, I was meeting friends at the bagel shop to let them bestow birthday presents upon me when I saw that I missed a call from m’lady. She knew I had a lunch date and wouldn’t normally call, so I called her back. She answered crying.

“The cat. He’s dead. I went for a walk and he’s on 10th and Clark. What should I do? I can’t leave him here. What if the kids see him?”  Now that he was gone, she didn’t call him “Phil” anymore. He became “the cat” in a subconscious attempt at emotional distancing. I told her that I would take care of the cat.

After lunch I headed to his resting place and noticed her still walking. She got in my truck and we headed to the cat’s corner. I couldn’t tell his cause of death but could see a familiar white tuftof fur on his chest. I scooped up the cat and placed it in my truck.

We ran an errand so our eyelashes could dry because she didn’t want to tell the kids.

We looked forward to the distraction in our afternoon plans of Lava’s gingerbread house walk, asoak in the hot pools and Thai food. I realized throughout the afternoon how much I'd worried about the cat since meeting it three days before. I didn’t have to worry anymore.

My metaphor when I get overwhelmed is to remind myself that I can't save all the kittens. I just can't. Both literally and metaphorically. I can’t do everything and realizing that allows me to accomplish the things I can. Still. I just couldn’t shake the thoughts of the cat formerly known as Phil. Could I have taken him in?

We had a terrific afternoon and after I dropped everyone off, I got a text just as I got home. “The kids are yelling Phil” What? Then who was that other cat? I have no idea.

We learned from new neighbors that old neighbors moved and left Phil behind. With all of the“what could have been’s” the few hours before, my sanity didn’t stand a chance. Because of the cat formerly known as Phil, the real Phil is getting a second chance and a fresh start much like we all get as an old year ends and a new one begins.

The cow suits are nothing compared to this. I’m heading into 2015 with three cats! Complementing my cow suits are cats Phoebe, Franklin, and Phil. What a fine finale for 2014 and perfect prelude to a crazy New Year.

Christmas in Color

Ah, December 21. It’s the winter solstice, four days before Christmas, and my birthday! My Decembers hold a variety of holiday traditions and birthday celebrations, but this year I added something new: School District 25’s Festival of Trees. I made five trips to the Stephens Performing Arts Center this year in conjunction with the Festival. Three were to set up and help decorate a tree and two were to attend and enjoy the event.

The tree I helped (wrestled) with was donated by two recently formed student-named clubs at Poky and Highland: the PHS Triangle Alliance and Highland’s SAGE (Straights And Gays for Equality.) The Triangle Alliance draws its name from the pink triangle which originated in Nazi concentration camps used to identify gay men, but transformed into a gay rights symbol in the 1970s. The triangle also nicely represents the three missions of a gay straight alliance (GSA) which are advocacy, support, and camaraderie.   

Each school’s club is coming into its own and can expect to shift focus among these three purposes depending on the directions students take them. I have had conversations with the administration at Century High School, and they are more than willing to support a GSA if there are students willing to start and maintain one.

Some students join a GSA to influence their school’s or community’s climate with regard to LGBT people. Some students seek support, and others’ interests lie in the social aspect of hanging out in an explicitly welcoming, respectful and empowering space. Shouldn’t that describe every school club or extracurricular activity? I actually think it describes many clubs already in existence.

Both clubs have teacher advisors on campus and have been active since the beginning of the school year. I’ve been working with both advisors to oversee and coordinate weekly meetings, and during November we designed and decorated a tree for the Festival of Trees.

Businesses, families, schools and clubs donate trees for auction each year with themes central to their group or centered on the season. I asked students if they wanted to go “loud and proud” with pride flags and LGBT symbols or if they wanted a traditional holiday theme. It was up to them, but I held my breath while they discussed and researched ideas.  

I’m all about advocacy of equality, but for our first foray into a community event, I hoped we could be subtle. I constantly navigate how much direction and guidance to offer because it’s important for students to lead, but there are times when an edict is appropriate. I wasn’t going to dictate this decision, but I really wanted them to make the decision I’d make.

I lucked out. They found a lovely subtle rainbow design online that spiraled up and around the tree. Perfect. They called it “Christmas in Color.”

To fund the tree, the Poky advisor, on behalf of both clubs, applied for and won a sponsorship grant through the Seattle-based Pride Foundation. From their website at www.pridefoundation.org, they inspire giving to expand opportunities and advance full equality for LGBT people. They invest in organizations, students, and leaders in Alaska, Idaho, Montana, Oregon, and Washington—transforming individual acts of courage into a unified movement for change.

I know it’s taken courage for kids some kids—gay, straight, or questioning—to show up and see what these clubs are about. I know it takes courage to talk with parents or peers about joining, but decorating a Christmas tree isn’t exactly an act of courage. Or is it? As soon as a Poky art teacher offered some design ideas and glitter, I had second thoughts. Confronting infamously unpredictable strands of Christmas lights requires courage and composure. Add glitter-coated hearts and origami ornaments to the mix, and I was grateful for all the support the Pride Foundation could give.

The clubs met weekly at spaces offered by Trinity Episcopal Church and the United Church of Christ near Poky High. The open doors of both churches have not only allowed us a place for dinners and gatherings, but it’s sending the message that there are many people, churches and other organizations here more than willing to accept and assist us just the way we are. Kids can’t hear this enough. When I work with glitter, I can’t hear this enough.

I’m grateful that the school district has been supportive of the students who’ve wanted to start these clubs and the adults who want to help. It's important for all kids—not just LGBT ones—to know that they are truly a part of something. And during these past weeks, the members of the PHS Triangle Alliance and Highland SAGE were part of a “Christmas in Color.”

The finished tree with bits of glittery wonder. 

A gift from the Poky principal after she corralled the art teacher into helping her.
Glitter. Is. Everywhere!
Peace be with me this season.

We Got a Physics Major!

One of the geekiest photos of me appears in the 1987 Hawthorne Junior High year book. I remember lining up in the gym for the MATHCOUNTS team picture with two other girls and a lone boy. I loved math so much that I was thrilled to be front and center, and I almost edged them right out of the club shot. I look like a dim-witted offensive lineman rather than a brainy mathlete.

The MATHCOUNTS club I once belonged to has evolved over its 30 years to become the MATHCOUNTS Foundation. From www.mathcounts.org, it “strives to engage middle school students of all ability and interest levels in fun, challenging math programs, in order to expand their academic and professional opportunities.”  Schools throughout southeast Idaho have participated in the program since its inception.

Fourteen years ago, a local engineer who was the Southeast Idaho Regional MATHCOUNTS Coordinator visited the Pocatello Community Charter School (PCCS) to tell them about the club. At the time, the school was in its second year and a good friend was the principal. After meeting with him, she called me to talk about the “nicest, geekiest engineer” who came by to encourage the school to start a math club. I wasn’t sure if she was holding the word “geek” in quite the same high regard I do, but I listened.

The principal bemoaned her own middle school math struggles, and proceeded to poke fun at what kids might do in a math club. She noticed my stream of silence, and after her foot was firmly lodged between her gums, she stopped mid-sentence.

“You were in this club, weren’t you?” Her tone shifted from slight mockery to fearful remorse, and then without hesitation, hope. “Hey, do you want to coach our math club?” Seems like everyone likes to make fun of the math geeks right up until you need help with your computer, your kid’s homework or your school’s math club.

I coached the MATHCOUNTS team at PCCS for 12 years, and I’ve kept in touch with a number of my mathletes through Facebook or their parents. (I have a strict personal policy of no Facebook friends under 18, so it’s usually during their senior year or after they’ve begun college when mathletes connect with me on social media.) I’ve loved hearing stories of kids attending MIT, majoring in mechanical engineering, and becoming math teachers.

On Thanksgiving Day a couple weeks ago, I received the following message via Facebook from a former mathlete:

I just wanted to let you know that I'm still so thankful for MATHCOUNTS and grateful to you for everything you did to keep me from burning out on math in middle school. I'm getting close to declaring a major in physics and I'm not sure if I would love math enough to want to do it for the rest of my life without the great experience I had in MATHCOUNTS. Hope you're having a great thanksgiving!

Holy Cow! I was so touched by her words, but I immediately felt guilty that I might be the only recipient of her note. What’s a holiday without a healthy helping of gratitude and a side of guilt?

I had the best of all worlds as a MATHCOUNTS coach. I worked as an engineer and got to spend one or two evenings a week with kids. I got to deal with dedicated students who were easily excited about math like I was, and they wanted to be there. I didn’t have to deal with bossy parents because I was a volunteer, and many of them were just grateful that someone else wanted to talk puzzles and permutations with their teen.

This young woman had wonderful math and science teachers throughout her tenure as a student in Pocatello. I got the chance to be the fun influence without any other obligations concerning her education. Her parents made sure she got to participate in the math and engineering activities she wanted to, and many engineers and other STEM professionals have worked behind the scenes for years to ensure that the MATHCOUNTS program is available for students throughout Idaho.  I want to share these words with all who have worked to ignite an excitement for STEM in students and add, Wahoo! We got a physics major!

Our passion is appreciated and it’s paying off.

This year’s Southeast Idaho Regional MATHCOUNTS competition will be on February 7^th at Idaho State University, and 11 teams are currently registered. Any middle schools interested in entering a team or individuals may contact Krystal Chanda at Chanda@ae.eng.com or 233-4226. Home school students are also welcome and encouraged to participate.