My Election Decision Trees

I love a good local election that doesn’t make candidates disclose a party affiliation. So often voters use that (R) or (D) next to a name to fill in the circle – or not.  Sure, voters still look for indications of affiliations and endorsements, but I like thinking that the possibility still exists for “person over party.”

When I consider a candidate, the first questions I ask myself are “Do I know them personally?  Have I ever hung out with them, and how did that go?” For instance, in the Pocatello Mayoral race, the only candidate on that list with whom I have had personal exchanges is our current Mayor Blad.  Truthfully, ever since the guy threw on a cow suit with me to take a picture in 2013 while I was cheering at a race, he secured my vote. I was in the middle of getting over being mad at him, and that gesture certainly helped. A few years later at another fun run, he did it again! We spent an hour high-fiving kids together and encouraging them to “keep moooving.”  I don’t agree with everything he has done as Mayor, but I appreciate his willingness to engage with citizens and I share his lifelong love of Pocatello. It’s a short decision tree for me when I can vote for Brian Blad.

For my city council races, I also know Linda Leeuwrik. We met at a barbeque at a mutual friend’s house over 20 years ago. I had almost forgotten about the evening until our paths crossed at a library event a decade later. Linda remembered me, and in doing so, her graciousness reminded me that I could stand to be better about remembering people.  I enjoyed our quiet library chat about our presentations, and I left that night thinking, “That is one smart, resilient and humble woman.” It’s another short decision tree for Linda Leeuwrik.

If I don’t know a  candidate all that well, my next series of questions are, “who is the Pocatello Firefighter’s Union voting for and why? And, who are some of my closest friends voting for and why?” I like putting stock in the local firefighters because, let’s face it. If I’m willing to vote for someone because they’ll suit up and cow with me or because I liked chatting with them at a barbeque, it’s prudent to consult groups and individuals who rely on candidates’ credibility and performance in case my bovine-and-barbeque litmus test if off base. With the local firefighter’s union supporting Rick Cheatum and Josh Mansfield, along with Leeuwrik and Blad, it’s easy for me to get behind them, too.

I was disappointed that Councilwoman Heidi Adamson didn’t run again because I have appreciated seeing her at a wide assortment of community events. She has been a good ambassador for our city.

My zone does not have a school board candidate up for election this year, but since I’m invested in who our Trustees will be, I can’t resist chiming in.

Only one candidate filed for Zone 1 in Chubbuck north to the Bingham County line, so Angie Oliver will have that seat. Mrs. Oliver’s uncle, Clayton Armstrong, is running against Heather Clark in Zone 2 which covers Pocatello’s west bench and the southern Mink and Johnny Creek areas. And, we’ve got incumbent Dave Matteson and Deanna Judy running in Zone 5 which is east of the hospital toward the Highland area.

Regarding the Mattson/Judy contest, I do not know Mrs. Judy, but I know that she is running in alignment with Mrs. Oliver and Mr. Armstrong. I’ve gotten to know Mr. Mattson a bit from his time serving on the school board and because we both hit the same taco place on Wednesday nights.

Mr. Mattson has served as the school board chair during this pandemic, and he’s opted to run again.  If I were in his shoes, I’d run for the hills with my phone on silent, a vat of bubble bath and a case of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups. In a piece I wrote last fall titled, “The Bedrock of Education”, I noted the six categories of people that I think a local school board should listen to: parents and students; the Superintendent and his/her staff; school principals; school teachers (individually and a collective union if one is active in the area); support staff including bus drivers, cafeteria workers, the IT Department, Human Resources, and Accounting; and community agencies like the City of Pocatello, the Pocatello Police Department and Southeastern Idaho Public Health.

I sincerely feel that our volunteer school board has worked to listen to each of these groups, and each Trustee has worked to process and appropriately prioritize conflicting opinions that have arisen.  They are constantly between a rock and a hard place and unable to please everyone, and if Dave Mattson with his institutional knowledge as the Board Chair is willing to run again, I would vote for him in heartbeat.

Regarding the Clarke/Armstrong race, I don’t know either candidate all that well so I have paid attention to what they put into the public sphere. Mr. Armstrong’s own words in his ISJ editorials and Q & A responses make me doubt that he’s really interested in listening to perspectives other than his own. Heather Clarke, on the other hand, had me sold with two sentences in her ISJ Q & A.  “As a community, we must recognize this opportunity to teach our children, through example, healthy conflict resolution strategies, constructive communication and provide community support. We have an opportunity to creatively work together and channel our passions in a constructive fashion.”

She’s right. We have that opportunity every day, and I wish more candidates who run for office would seize it.

I early voted this week at the Elections Office.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Raising Men

Appeared in the Idaho State Journal on October 24, 2021.

At dinner this week, I asked our teen boys what I should write about. The 13 year old said, “You could write about my focus issues.” I let him know that since we are all still trying to figure out all of the things entailed in his focus issues, the topic would be a great column (or 12) at a later date.  But with that blessing to write about them, I figured it was a sign to dive into a topic that I have had brewing for eight years—ever since a conversation with a friend.

This friend has all sons. At that time, they were between ten and 18. I can’t recall exactly what we were discussing, perhaps something to do with scrubbing toilets or fixing meals, when she said, “I’m not raising little boys, you know. I’m raising men.”

My wife and I were newly dating at that time and her guys were adorable little boys that I was just getting to know. I was hoping for some years of ninja turtles, Legos, bedtime stories and shoulder rides.  I wasn’t ready to think of them as men, but thanks to those words in passing, that shift of raising little boys to raising men has always been in my mind.

When think about what I can contribute on their trek toward manhood, another conversation with a different friend has fed some of my actions. It really does take a village. That friend had separated from her husband. She had a core group of gal-pals to lean on during that period, but he didn’t.

She noted that she felt empowered to reach out to friends, but he didn’t. “Manly” men weren’t encouraged to seek counseling or lean on friends and say, “Hey, I could really use a cup of coffee and a talk” let alone do the opening up and talking part.  Meeting up at a bar under the guise of watching a game and having a couple o’ beers was acceptable, but for men, a more tender talk in a quiet, intimate environment simply for the sake of talking was taboo. 

These two tidbits from two different friends shaped one of the things I strive for in my contribution to raising our guys: establishing ways they can connect with someone or seek help during life’s struggles.

I try my darndest to display how I reach out to friends, check in with my therapist, or go for a bike ride when something’s troubling me,  but I know in my heart of hearts that my modeling may be no match to the pressures of this world. So, I have worked with their parents to ensure they are exposed to a wealth of activities.

Generally speaking, and this is very generally speaking, when do men get together and talk? When there’s an activity to focus on. Shooting pool, bowling, golfing, mountain biking, hunting, fishing, motorcycle riding, skiing, snowboarding, working out, playing music and golfing are the wholesome activities that come to mind when I think about the men in my life.  (We’ll stay away from gambling and drinking for now.)

Considering this, we’ve taught our boys to play pool at ISU’s student union building. We’ve signed them up through the Kids Bowl Free summer program to help them feel confident walking into a bowling alley. They know Reed Gym. The older son has had piano and golf lessons, and he regularly skis and mountain bikes. The younger son has had guitar lessons and likes running , fishing and snowboarding. They’ve been exposed to everything on that list except hunting. Although we did get a couple of BB guns the other day. (Their dad’s got a motorcycle, much to their mom’s chagrin.)

I recognize that not every family has the financial means, time or energy to expose their kids to every single one of these activities, but in the step-parent role, sometimes I try too hard. Just a few of these options would probably be fine, but I really want these guys to have an assortment of avenues available to them for future friendships and connection.    

Both boys like playing Minecraft and other video games with their friends. And while we wince at the amount of time they spend in front of a screen, we realized that they’re talking with friends about things other than just the games while they play. I’m not a video game fan, and it’s not an activity I would necessarily choose, but I love how they creatively connect with friends over the internet.

In recent years, while they are hunkered in the basement in the dark glow of their games, their voices travel through the vents. Their cackles with voice-cracks have become deep, boisterous laughter. It’s clear that we are no longer raising little boys, but we are raising men. 

The little boys and their dog 6 years ago

My American Flag

I snuck away for a soak this week. On Thursday morning, after a couple hours of work, I picked up a dear friend and we hightailed it to the hot pools in Lava Hot Springs.  As we drove by Century High School on the interstate, I recalled being there a couple weeks ago at the Pocatello Chubbuck School District 25 (PCSD25) special meeting on September 28 .  This weekday getaway was, in part, spurred by my attendance at that meeting almost three weeks ago, and how I’m still processing it all.

Prior to that September 28 special meeting a sizable number of locals organized and strategized. In light of social media rumblings and recent media coverage of all of this, I knew protesters would be on hand at this school district board meeting. I decided I wanted my family to attend, not just to show our support for educators and decision-makers, but also to put myself in the company of people who are thinking so differently from me. I needed to see their anger, fears and frustration for myself rather than just read about it online.

Dozens of people flanked the entrance to the school chanting and holding signs. Members of the public heckled the people serving on the school board at various times after the meeting was called to order. People cheered, whooped and hollered after public testimony they agreed with, continuing the practice even after the chair of the board asked the attendees to refrain from doing so. While a Pocatello High School student was at the microphone offering his considerate and personal public testimony, people heckled and jeered him. Two men in the back of the high school auditorium held an American flag between them – shaking and waving it when they liked tidbits of public testimony, ensuring that all of the School District 25 trustees could see their display throughout the entirety of the meeting.

This is not my kind of protest. I can appreciate people exercising their freedoms. In fact, I will defend the people’s freedom of speech here while exercising my own. The guys holding the flag, however,  reminded me of gay rights activists over the years who made out in cheek-less leather chaps on many a capitol’s steps. Just men, full of passion and energy. Exercising their rights in over-the-top displays of freedom.

In the immediate days following that school board meeting, it was the heckling of the Poky High student that bothered me the most. He is a classmate of our middle son and they are on the debate team together. Now that weeks have passed, however, I’ve found that I am just as bothered by how the American flag was used that night.

There’s an American flag in front of Century High School, and there was one present on the stage during the board meeting. What was the purpose of someone bringing another one? Since the January 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol where a rioter beat a US Capitol officer with pole flying an American flag, I’m noticing the use of the American flag, our American flag, more and more.

I have an American flag at home. It was presented to me when I was 13 years old at my dad’s funeral in Lava Hot Springs. He had been in the US Army just long enough to earn veteran’s benefits before injuries in a car wreck got him discharged. I don’t think Dad ever wanted a funeral, but a local Veteran’s group insisted on providing military rights, so we held a funeral. In Lava in 1986, this consisted of a rifle fired three times, bugle taps played on a battery-operated tape recorder situated on a metal folding chair and a presentation of the American flag to me with a dozen folks in attendance.

My American flag will not be used to intimidate, shame, or threaten another American.  It will continue to stay folded in its triangle in the cardboard box I brought home 35 years ago. I find it every six months when I reorganize the garage. I pause, feel it, and put it back.  I have often thought I should do something more with my American flag, but in those private moments when I rediscover it at home, it spawns profound reflections in me that I probably wouldn’t have if I saw that particular flag every day.

Do you have an American flag? What do you use it for?

I was participating in the Zonta Region 8 District conference online this week and this was my screen during the opening ceremony.