A more perfect union

(First appear in the Idaho State Journal in October 2023.) 

My company experienced a series of layoffs last week. It’s been difficult to concentrate on anything else. My thoughts bounce between worries for coworkers who have been a part of my life for decades to myself : Will I be laid off? Will I have to move? Do I want to move?

I texted a friend and asked if she was available for a hike to settle my nerves and organize my thoughts. We loaded up my dogs and headed for Kinport Peak last Sunday morning.  We took in the views of our surrounding valleys, the American Falls Reservoir and the Lemhi and Lost River Ranges. The solace and freedom atop an Idaho mountain is unmatched. Sharing that peace with a friend and the crusts from my peanut butter sandwich with my dogs answered the question, “Do I want to move?”  (The answer is “no.”)

My weekend hiking buddy is a high school government teacher in American Falls. After listening to me prattle on about layoffs and the prospects for my current and future employment she said, “Boy, as I hear you talk about corporate demands, market responses and intricacies of capitalism, it makes me glad to be a civil servant with a secure job.” 

Our talk switched from my woes to her U.S. Government class. She has invited me to speak to her classes a few times over the years. Every time I step into her classroom, not only do I feel the quaint, swaddling influence of Smalltown, Idaho, but I also see exactly how I am part of something greater.

Every inch of her classroom décor is an intentional message of what it means to be living in the United States of America. Our rights, our privileges, and our responsibilities are all on display. I grasp the conflicting feelings of gratitude and regret at the actions of Americans before me. The inspiration on her classroom walls always gives me a renewed sense of commitment to uphold the good of this nation and do better where needed.

As talk delved into upcoming lesson plans centering on the U.S. Constitution, it struck me how “doing better” is so central to our governing articles. I needed her to refresh my memory on some specifics because it’s been a long time since my U.S. Government class. Since the drafting began in 1787 with final ratification in 1790, it has been amended 27 times.  Amended. Changed. Improved.

The USA has always been a work in progress–always seeking to “form a more perfect Union.” We’ve got a fine foundation rooted in the language of the U.S. Constitution, but our “walking the walk” of ensuring that freedom and liberty extend to everyone is a continual cog in motion. As that cog turns, debates about how to ensure that one person’s freedom doesn’t infringe on another person’s rights are prevalent 233 years after the Constitution’s debut. 

After talking about corporate layoffs and teaching the U.S. Constitution, we discussed our kids and what we are looking forward to in our lives. I mentioned I am participating in a “United Against Hate” summit at ISU next week.  It struck me how the themes that surfaced on our hike are weaved within this upcoming event organized by the Department of Justice and the Idaho U.S. Attorney’s Office.

From their recent press release, “United Against Hate is an initiative launched by the Department of Justice focused on improving efforts to combat hate crimes and hate incidents through relationship building at the local level. Through this endeavor, the U.S. Attorney’s Office seeks to create and strengthen trust and partnerships among law enforcement, community leaders, and residents.”

I’ve always been a champion of building relationships and fostering a community where everyone feels welcome, and that’s more critical than ever. The cool calm atop Kinport Peak with a like-minded friend was not only a stark contrast to the career stresses I felt last week, but also to the temperature of anger that is brewing around us. 

The levels of hate evidenced in rising hate crime statistics at the national and state levels are going to take a “We the People” kind of effort to dial down. It won’t be one person or one agency or even a few, but many of us need to start showing up and speaking up. 

Of everything I’ve reflected upon in the wake of my company layoffs, having to leave Pocatello gives me the greatest pause. Should I even invest my heart and time in events like the “United Against Hate” summit and building relationships if I’m only going to be here a short time? In the big picture, a short time is all we ever have, so yes. Yes I should. 

Consider joining me for this upcoming conversation September 26 in the Wood River Room at Idaho State’s Pond Student Union Building. Check-in begins at 5pm, and the free event goes from 5:30 pm - 7:00 pm. An online registration link can be found at https://tinyurl.com/UAH-Poky.

Expanding our adjectives

Published in the Idaho State Journal in February 2023

I attended the Marshal Public Library board meeting this past week. I’d gotten wind of the growing presence of Idaho MassResistance and their objections to goings-on at the library.  There was a woman seated in the back row holding a sign saying, “Drag is not for kids.”  I might have had that thought, too, when I first heard about story times cropping up across the country, but I checked my biases and did a little self-reflecting and research to find common ground. My opinion changed.

Saying “drag is not for kids” is like saying “movies are not for kids.”  Some movies surely aren’t suitable for young audiences, but some are filled with artistry, wonder, and life lessons – just like Pocatello’s Reading Time with the Queens (RTWTQ).

Perhaps when people hear “drag queen” they think risqué, sexual and R-rated. While adult drag performances can embody any combination of those things, this production in Pocatello does not. There are so many more adjectives to describe the style of drag that is showcased in RTWTQ.

The RTWTQ website describes their brand of drag as kind, family-friendly, courageous and loving. Their drag “teaches us to accept others as we wish to be accepted ourselves.” Each of their monthly programs is available on YouTube to see exactly how they endeavor to put this into action, and it’s worth noting that they advertise their offering to parents and children, not just children.

As we look for other adjectives to describe this different type of drag expression, there are two key considerations: performance and representation.

The RTWTQ leader, Cali/Joseph,  is a singer and creative performer. As Cali, she’s charismatic, engaging, and confident. She radiates joy while singing, playing musical instruments, and reading. Years ago a friend who was a drag performer lamented how disappointing it was that the only place in town for them to sharpen and share their craft was at the local gay bar late on weekend nights. For those who are not into the bar scene and/or prefer to be in bed by 9pm, this is unfortunate. I appreciate efforts of LGBTQ community members to expand our culture beyond the walls of gay bars to more inclusive public spaces.  They are inspiring, promising and positive.

The second element of RTWTQ to consider centers on “out and proud.” One of my favorite sayings is “be the adult you needed when you were growing up.”  This is how I have tried to live as an adult mentor to my own kids as well as to the kids I’ve worked with over the years coaching athletics, math and robotics teams, and working with youth civic clubs. I’ve tried to model happiness and community; getting involved and contributing where I can with my strengths and perspective. This is also exactly what the producers of RTWTQ are doing.

I didn’t have the language to articulate it, but I recognized I was gay well before puberty. I didn’t grow up with openly gay role models or mentors, or even women who dressed like I wanted to dress. Instead,  I grew up with a veil of shame and pressure to hide that part of who I am. It was a confusing and unhealthy way to traverse adolescence, and I’ve seen how this leads many gay and questioning kids and adults to isolate in anger, fear and suicidal thoughts.

Because of my name, haircut and extreme tomboyishness, each day during my first week of kindergarten, Mom made me wear a dress so my classmates would know I was a girl. It was miserable and horrifying.  As RTWTQ presents adults –happy adults—in clothing and costumes along the spectrum of masculine to feminine, I’ve thought how young Billie Jo (and her mother) might have benefited. The queens and other performers are validating, uplifting and meaningful.

None of the merits of the program, the organizers, or how I might have benefited from it as a child really matter in this discussion.  The meeting room at the Marshall Public Library is available to the public to use, and the performers and patrons of RTWTQ have a right to reserve that space free from disruption.  RTWTQ isn’t even a library-sponsored event; it’s something a group of citizens put together utilizing public space. A few more adjectives to consider with these drag queens and performers include tax-paying, informed, and worthy.

At that library board meeting this past week, Reading Time with the Queens vice-president Rowan Smith’s comments included, “they are afraid that our organization will demonstrate to children in our community that a happy, fulfilling, blessed life as a gay person in Idaho is possible.” Now that is what I am talking about. It would be great if we could expand the adjectives ascribed to the queer community to emphatically include those: happy, fulfilled and blessed.