My favorite Christmas movie is “Elf”. Will Ferrell’s Buddy the Elf is sophomoric and funny. He is optimistic and sincere, and his outfit is full of cheer. He’s like me on my best days. I can feel myself smile throughout the flick.
I’m a smiley person. So much so, that I’m starting to get wrinkles around my eyes which stopped a grin in its tracks when I spotted them the other day. A scowl swooped in. I’m going to end up with even more kinks in my forehead due to my furrowed brow if I don’t accept these lines quickly. There are days I fight getting older like a temperamental toddler who didn’t get what he wanted for Christmas.
These fits brew every holiday season because my birthday is
days before Christmas. Amidst the holiday cheer and gift giving, I take stock
of how I’m aging. I guess wrinkles will come regardless, and I’m darn lucky for
each birthday I have and my life of smiles.
I had a conversation with 13 year old boy named Toby and his
mom Sara this week about smiling. Sara and I share a mutual friend, and when we
found ourselves miles apart in Massachusetts, we met for dinner. Sara and Toby made a five hour drive from
Rochester, New York and were on their way to the National Education for Assistance
Dogs Services (NEADS) headquarters. Toby is getting a service dog, a yellow lab
named Sophie.
I knew Sara had a 13 year old son, but I didn’t’ know
anything about him, let alone that he could benefit from a service dog. I arrived at the restaurant before them, and
I watched from the window as Sara retrieved Toby’s walker from the back of
their Subaru. While he finagled his way out of the car in the cold, dark
parking lot, I was grateful the eastern winter hadn’t fully descended yet. My
daily activities are exacerbated with ice and snow. I can’t imagine his.
Over our meal, Sara explained that Toby was due to be born
in July but when she experienced a sudden onset of severe eclampsia during her
pregnancy, he arrived in March. Toby interjected with a crooked smile, “I’m
half baked!” It took me a minute to get
it. He didn’t stay in the oven long enough.
Toby has cerebral palsy (CP). Sara further explained how every person with
CP has different challenges. There are hiccups in the
communication between the brain and muscles, and which muscles are involved
varies for everyone. Toby’s legs don’t work the way mine do and he has an
upper body lean because his back muscles didn’t fully develop. He can hold
himself upright, has use of his arms and is entirely cognitive and then some.
The kid is funny, curious and resilient.
Sara asked me to tell Toby about my cow suits. Although this
was the first time we had met in person, Sara and I have chatted over Facebook,
and she follows my cow suit adventures in my blog.
I started a blog last spring called “Cow Suit Saturday” to
capture interactions and reactions when everyday life is transformed from a cow
suit.
I told Toby how I got my first suit in the early 90’s. His
eyebrows raised and I’m sure he thought “wow, you’re old,” but he politely
listened. I relayed how after wearing cow
suits over the years, I realized people reacted and treated me so differently.
People smile at me reflexively. And then I smile. Then they smile bigger and a
feedback loop is engaged. This occurrence is a disaster in electrical control
systems, but it’s so sweet in social interaction.
I said to Toby, “Imagine me sitting across from you in this
booth right now in a cow suit. Wouldn’t you smile at a grown woman in one-piece
flannel, rubber udders and floppy ears?”
He giggled. And his mom almost whispered across the table. “That’s why I’m excited for the dog. People
will smile at him.” Sweet blond Sophie is about to reshape all of Toby’s daily interactions
with people.
Toby and Sara will stay at the NEADS facility for some time
while Toby bonds with his new companion and they are trained on the ins and
outs of having a service dog. The day
they take Toby home happens to be my birthday when I have exciting plans for another
Cow Suit Saturday. Toby and I will be across the country from each other
experiencing joyful and refreshing smiles, both in ourselves and from others. ‘Tis the season of joy and as Buddy the Elf said, “I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite.” Careful, Toby. Your new friend is going to give you wrinkles. Enjoy them.
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| Sara, Toby and I after dinner in New England. |
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