The Book That Changed My Life

At the dinner party a couple weeks ago where I met some Century High School debate students, I also met a young gal from Irving Middle School. I awkwardly chit-chatted with her and her mother about awkward chit chat at parties. I wish I’d learned that in school. It reminded me of a book that changed my life.

Columnists use their platform form to educate, clear the air, harp, or celebrate. I’ll let today’s serve as a slight confessional: I don’t read much. Like hardly ever. I would be a better person, and certainly a better writer, if I let more words come before my eyes. Although with some of the stuff out there, I’d probably be more grumpy and discontent. Ignorance is bliss, right?

When I do read, it’s often like a born again experience and I want to share what wonderful things I’ve learned as if I’ve discovered something brand new. I bet my taste in literature is primitive and unrefined. This book that changed my life may not be all that ground-breaking or informative; it may just happen to be one that sustained my interest and now I think it’s the best thing in the world. Regardless, I became a more enlightened, content, and pleasant person after reading and applying this book.

A few years ago, I was attending a professional conference and needed to network with people.  I needed better social skills over all, but more pointedly in this environment. I came across a whole slew of books on Amazon that might help, but after painfully taking the time to read a few reviews, I only bought one book: “How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships” by Leil Lowndes.

Engineers are rarely known for the charm and dashing social skills.  We can be literal and unaware. If we happen to be aware, then we can be self conscious. It’s a shame that the rest of the world hasn’t yet embraced the utility and function of white tube socks, but until they do, many of us could use a little help interacting with the public.

I read the book shamelessly in doctors’ offices and on plane en route to my conference. I used the book as a segue to talk with the passenger in the seat next to me. “Hi. I’m Billie. I’m reading a paperback on how to talk to people. I’m not very good at it. Are you?”

I became a fan Ms. Lowndes after this one book and I’m an even bigger fan of education a la Amazon.

* The young gal in this account happens to be transgender. I have seen her at various community events, but never quite knew how to approach her and introduce myself. I have countless success stories of interactions that didn't lead to a face palm by me or the other person because I've applied tricks in this book, and I chuckle now that I've brilliantly utilized the book itself as perfect fodder for an exchange. Again, I'll concede that my self-awareness may still be stunningly low and it's possible that her account of our meeting might be titled "The Amost-Comfortable, Chatty, Smiling Dork"  which is fine. But, I'm going to rely on my own perception which could be classified as a brief but friendly slice of bliss. (Hey, what was I saying about bliss earlier?)