Mom, God and Character Development

 Published in the Idaho State Journal on Sept 19, 2021

We are about six weeks away from local elections on November 2. A handful of city council and school board seats are up for a vote, and we will decide the mayors for Pocatello, Chubbuck and other surrounding areas.  Newspapers, social media and produce aisles are about to be inundated with commentary as people seek to better understand issues at hand.  Wish us all luck.

Tidbits of my educational foundation have edged their way into my writing over the years. As I jumped into some discussions on social media this week, I realized that perhaps a more complete breakdown of my education-in-hind-sight would provide some context to upcoming and even past editorials of mine.  Election season is a great time for me to self-assess my path of lifelong learning to help uncover why I hold the opinions I do about education, civic engagement, rights, and responsibilities and ultimately why I vote the way I do.

My mom was an atheist who sent me to a religious elementary school. She told them, "Have at it. Teach her all you want to teach her, but don't come preaching to me. As long as you respect that boundary, I'll keep her enrolled here."  Mom wanted me to learn about "love your neighbor as yourself" from a Christian perspective that the school could provide to be mixed in with her simply humanist backing of the Golden Rule.

Mom was leery of Christian kindness that stemmed from a fear of God rather than a love of mankind, so we talked about that a lot. Fear and love can be a motivator for the same actions, and she encouraged me to be discerning of motives in myself and others. I learned to ask if and when motives matter. A Christlike love was modeled for me best by an atheist, and I learned the most about God because of a woman who didn’t believe in Him.  

I came to respect and revere the Constitution of the United States in the context of religious teachings as much as in the context of atheism. In sixth grade, my teacher oversaw a unit where we studied the core tenants of 11 other religions. This included visits to a number of places of worship including some in Salt Lake because a few denominations were not represented in Pocatello. As a 12 year old, I participated in class discussions about whether or not “In God We Trust” on government currency or “Under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance is contradictory to the First Amendment. These conversations even before puberty made me a better American.

Mom expected and wanted me to be taught things that she did not agree with so we could talk about it. We had wonderful discussions about what I was learning and why she agreed or disagreed with something. Talks during car rides and the dinner were as profound for my education and character development as my private and public classrooms.

The Christian school only went up to sixth grade, so I transferred to public school for my secondary education. My participation in athletics, band and student council in those years led me to want those opportunities available to all kids regardless of their ability to afford them. These activities promote teamwork and a sense of belonging that can be key to character development and creating good citizens. Friends’ kids can count on me to help with their fundraising.

I talk often about Mom being a child protection worker and how it affected my development. Mixed into conversations of religion and civic duty were stories of abused and neglected children she encountered. I’ve grown up knowing that not all parents talk with their kids like Mom talked with me, but also that some parents among us do horrible things to their children. This is why I am a proponent of social and emotional learning and character development in public education.

A question that often gets asked is, “should schools be responsible for what the parents aren't doing and should tax-payers have to fund it?”  Society, either in terms of taxes or the quality of our life and communities, will pay for parents' mis-steps one way or another - whether it's in the prison system or education system is up to us. I vote for education. I always vote for education.

I've been volunteering in our public schools for over 20 years. Establishing relationships with teachers, administrators, and students of varying generations has helped me understand underlying reasons behind rules, policies, content and curriculum decisions. Understanding is the perfect predecessor to polls. I may not always agree, but I can often get to a place of understanding thanks to the many years with Mom, God and some lifelong character development.