Belching and a Bible Verse

I went to a K-6 Christian school, and I still remember the series of Bible verses beginning in Ecclesiastes 3. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot.”  

In my late 20’s I was a volunteer counselor at Idaho Business Week. It was a summer camp event held on the Boise State campus for high school students involved in Business Professionals of America. Hundreds of kids were divided into “companies” of 10-13 students. Q business professional was assigned as their mentor while they ran a mock business.

I look at most of my bad decisions with the lemons-to-lemonade adage, and I value the lesson learned. One of my toughest lessons came at the end of this week when I made a very poor decision. I write this with low grade nausea and wrinkle-causing winces.

In addition to remembering birthdays, my other secret talent is belching.  No one could best my belches on my high school band trips or at church camp.  The kids I’ve coached get a kick out of it, and even today, I could outdo the bass of most car audio systems.

A boy on my company team was disrupting the meeting and belching. I thought the fastest way to redirect was to say something through my own booming burp.  I bellowed a “Knock it off, Jared!” and the room went silent in shock.  They giggled and whispered some “Whoa’s” and the company team was back on track after I glared at him.

A formal lunch and graduation at the end of the week welcomed executives and representatives of sponsoring Idaho companies. Everyone wore business attire with men and boys in jackets and ties, and women and girls in pant suits or dresses. My fellow belcher was chosen by our team to say a few words.  He gave a great speech about his week and offered kind words about me as a coach and then he did it. He told the entire crowd how I could belch and rallied the students to cheer me on and show them.

I thought twice and should have thought a third time. I tip-toed to the mic and belched in front of a crowd containing dignitaries from Micron, HP, Idaho Power, Boise Cascade, and all three state universities. My kids thought it was a riot, and the sophomoric high-fives were contagious, but not one adult in the room was impressed. Nor should they have been.  I wasn’t asked back the next year. I hate to think what this graceless, tactless act taught the students.

There’s a little hullabaloo about School District 25’s efforts to curtail disruptive behavior at the upcoming graduations. Discerning appropriate times for specific behaviors is more than a valuable lesson to learn. It’s critical. I’m lucky I was only uninvited to future events because the stunt could have had career-lasting implications.  When students know a high school diploma is at stake, hopefully it conveys the seriousness of appropriate behavior, so when jobs or entire careers are involved, the seeds of discernment are rooted.