Giving Up "Google It"

A friend of mine’s 13 year old daughter is an X-Files fan. The TV show ran from 1993 through 2002, but she discovered reruns on an obscure cable channel about a year ago. She now has posters of the actors and UFO’s on her walls and will likely have dogs, cats or fish named Scully and Mulder someday.
 
I don’t share this kid’s fanatical love of the show, but I discovered through my network of Facebook friends that the wife of one of my high school classmates does. Her name is Nicole and she has four X-Files-related tattoos, an impressive collection of memorabilia, and a photograph with Gillian Anderson (Scully) that probably still has her smile muscles aching.

The teen fan got a replica of Mulder’s FBI agent ID card over spring break and showed me amidst excited squeals and squirms. I’ve told her about Nicole and I quipped in a text chat a few nights ago that they were definitely kindred spirits.  She asked me what that meant. Explaining the concept via text at that moment seemed cumbersome and complicated. I was in the middle of folding clothes, and she has a smart phone. I almost replied, “Google it.” 

But I caught myself. She is an inquisitive, tech-savvy kid. I have told her to “Google it” before to learn something quickly, but as soon as she asked me a question, I had an opportunity to provide more than an answer.  

We navigate tricky balances ensuring that kids are technologically competent but also socially astute; teaching them to be independent but also to talk to adults when they should. Even if it was via text, a teenager was talking to me. She was asking me something.

I suppose there may be legitimate times like driving in heavy traffic, when her little brother is throwing a tantrum or while sitting in church—wait, not that one—in which “Google it” makes sense, but it didn’t make sense here.

I explained that a kindred spirit is like a soul mate but not romantic. It’s someone with whom you share a love of something or hold a similar world view or simply have the same quirky, warped sense of humor.

She could have learned a myriad of definitions for “kindred spirit” through Google, but in my giving it up, I hope she learned a little bit more. I hope she learned that I will give her answers when I can and I will continue to invite dialogue with her. I hope she learned both from my giving her an answer as well as in the answer itself that, just like the X-Files espouses, “We are not alone.” As she is at the beginning of often tumultuous, confusing and isolating teenage years, that constant reminder can’t hurt. Not only is the truth out there, but so are many, many kindred spirits. And we most likely won’t find those on Google.